You are so enlightened. I hope that the future brides see the same “big picture” that Sean sees. Let’s me add that generally perception and reality tend to be at odds with each other. Please allow me explain: If you ever travel to Europe, you’ll realize that there is no such thing as a wedding industry. You do not pay inflated costs for things just because the expense is prefaced with the word “wedding”. A dinner that costs 30 euros at a fancy restaurant doesn’t cost 70 euros just because that same dinner si going to be served at a wedding reception. You could get married in a beautiful church built eons ago and a five-course meal reception for less than 10 grand for 200 guests. In the US, however, the media and marketing groups cloak a bride’s reality with their own perception of what her ideal wedding should be: a perfect fairy tale wedding with at least a 1 carat diamond engagement ring to go along with it. This perception does not exist elsewhere! I should know, because I am marrying a Swede, and she understands Sean’s point very well. A wedding is not about trying to attain an unascertainable goal of having a perfect wedding. It’s about friends and family.

A sidenote – did you know that taxi cabs in Germany and other parts of Europe are Mercedes E and S-class? The US marketing and media makes people think that Mercedes’ are luxury cars. They are not my friends. They are taxis. Like I said, perception does not agree with reality, here.

@Heather- okay lemme try to tackle each one at a time:
1. “it’s stressful to plan a party” – it shouldn’t be. this is exactly the point of the idea to cut out all the formalities and expectations of traditional weddings and distill it down to a honeymoon with your friends along for the ride at the beginning.

2. no it would not. Trust me having seen the 8mos of preparation that went into my brother’s wedding- it would take you half a day to plan a tropical vacation via a travel agent. once everyone gets there, outings are coordinated by a local tour guide. no headaches, use whatever your budget would have been for the traditional wedding. The $7k for the jazz band alone should make for a pretty sweet weekend and all the floral arrangments, venue bookings, cake, etc can be disbursed to defray airfare and lodging expenses for people.

3. hello? i’m not proposing a local bar I’m proposing a weekend at a beach somewhere tropical which I guarnatee you people would remember way more than folding chairs at the local marriot patio.

4. where exactly have i contradicted myself? you draft a one-page exec summary to confirm that whatever you DO decide to do is consistent with your goal of the day. That would take all of 30min to prepare and would ensure you’re not flailing hopelessly with other BS arrangements that run counter to your goal. The whole “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure idea…” I’m not sure how to explain it beyond that if you don’t grasp that concept.

5. “you just don’t wake up one day and it’s planned” – actually you do. get a good travel agent and have them book 10 bungalows on a remote beach and have some fun events lined up to bring guests together. it’s pretty simple.

Heather, i’m sorry your brain’s fuzzy after reading my blog. I would recommend you stop reading if that’s the case. If and when i get married, yes- there will be minimum planning and maximum enjoyment for the guests. It will be a honeymoon that includes friends for the first few days. I think the disconnect here is that YOUR wedding should be for YOUR GUESTS in celebration of you and your husband. Good luck to you too!

sean

:)